


What are family for?

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Threesome - M/M/M, all the sex is happening on a couch, damn these desperate kinky striders, pretend i didn't say that, someone should stop me being dumb in the tags pls, yay sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 04:51:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk goes to stay with his cousins in Texas, and ends up doing a whole lot more than just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What are family for?

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently all I write any more are threesomes  
> Request more fics at fanficstuck on tumblr! Threesomes or not.

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you kind of really don’t want to go and stay with your cousins in Texas. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what you have to do. You’re not really looking forward to staying in a small apartment with two guys you’ve never actually met before. They might be family, but they’re still complete strangers to you.

 

Sighing, you press the intercom button and tell them you’re here. They buzz you in, and you push open the door. You wrinkle your nose as you look around the foyer, and head for the stairs. By the time you reach the top, you’re really sick of stairs. Who thought stairs were a good idea, anyway? Not you.

 

You hesitate a moment before knocking on their door, double-checking you have the right apartment. You try to look as cool as you can, but you’re not sure how well you pull it off.

“Oh, hey,” says the tall, well-built older guy who opens the door, “You’re Dirk, right? Call me Bro.”

He offers you his hand, and you shake it. You can’t help but notice he looks like an older version of you. You’re even wearing the same sunglasses.

“Nice to meet you,” you say, wondering whether choice of eyewear can be genetic.

“Just dump your shit on the couch,” he says over his shoulder, walking across the apartment and leaving you to shut the door behind you.

“Sure,” you say, glancing around the apartment and nodding appreciatively.

You drop your bag on the couch, and sit down next to it, trying to look relaxed.

“You want a beer?” Bro asks from the kitchen.

“Sure.”

You hear a voice behind you saying “sup”, and turn around to see a guy about your age, leaning against a doorway.

“Hey,” you say, “I’m Dirk. You must be Dave?”

“That’s me.”

You manage to look unimpressed as his brother chucks a can of beer at Dave’s face and he snatches it out of the air. Your own can is thrown rather more gently. Cracking it open, you sip it in awkward silence.

“You cool with sleeping on the couch?” Bro asks, and you nod.

“Good, ‘cause you’re not getting my bed,” Dave says.

You laugh, and the tension in the air eases. You even manage to relax, although only a little. Maybe this won’t be so bad, after all.

 

Later, Bro goes out to pick up some groceries, and you’re left on the couch watching shitty TV with Dave. The two of you barely say a word to each other. You wonder whether he’s going to be this taciturn for your entire visit. You’re not sure what you’d prefer. Eventually, the quality of the programming becomes too awful to bear, and Dave switches off the TV, leaving you in awkward silence again.

“So, it’s just you and your brother, then?” you ask, wincing internally at the lameness of your question.

“Ever since I can remember.”

You nod, trying to think of something else to say. You’re saved the trouble when Bro opens the door and calls for Dave to help him with the groceries. You can’t help but think your stay here is going to be excruciatingly awkward.

 

Your suspicions are more or less confirmed that evening. Coming out of the shower, you find Dave and Bro making out on the couch – the couch you’re supposed to be sleeping on. You’re understandably frustrated – and just a little turned on. You try to pretend you didn’t just think that. You wish you were wearing more than just a towel. This has the potential to get really, really awkward. You ignore the tiny mental voice that adds “or really, really hot”. Somehow, you don’t think ending up in a threesome with two guys you just met makes for the best first impression.

“You just gonna stand there?” Bro asks, raising one eyebrow at you.

You notice neither of them are wearing their signature shades, and you aren’t either, seeing as showering in sunglasses is probably one of the stupidest ideas ever. You don’t want to say why exactly you know that.

“Looks like the couch is engaged,” you say, and your voice feels harsh in your dry throat.

“You can join in if you want,” Dave says, with a sly grin, and you swallow sharply.

They exchange glances, and Dave laughs.

“I think he wants to,” Bro says, grinning.

You think so, too. You think you want to quite a lot.

“Come on,” Bro says, jerking his head for emphasis.

That’s all the encouragement you need. Keeping a careful grip on your towel, you make your way over to the sofa, avoiding all the puppets strewn across the floor. Dave pulls you down into a kiss as soon as you get there, and suddenly you really don’t care that you only met him this morning, because he’s a fucking good kisser.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asks, breaking off the kiss.

You just snort. Do you look like a virgin to him?

“Good,” he says, pulling you back in for another kiss.

Dave Strider, you realise, is fucking hot. Releasing your grip on your towel, and hoping it stays put, you slide a hand up under Dave’s shirt. He grins, breaking away to pull it off over his head. You notice Bro has vanished, and idly wonder where he went. Kissing Dave again distracts you enough not to really care until you feel his weight settle onto the sofa behind you. You exhale sharply as he kisses the back of your neck, pushing you down against Dave. You can tell he’s trying not to crush you too much, but the sofa is making that a little awkward. The way his hands are running over your torso make it hard to care. Sliding your own hands down Dave’s stomach, you undo his pants and start pulling them down, but they quickly become trapped between you. Bro sits up, pulling Dave’s pants off, then starts kissing your back again.

“Get off, asshole,” Dave says, reaching around you to shove Bro, ineffectually.

“Make me,” Bro replies, biting your shoulder and making you hiss.

“You’re both assholes,” you say, bucking up and catching Bro in the crotch, making him wince and pull away.

You take advantage of his absence to pull off Dave’s underpants.

“Look who’s talking,” says Bro, biting your side.

“Fuck you.”

He bites you again, and you try to pretend you’re not getting off on it. Something tells you he sees through you. Either that, or he’s just an asshole. You ignore him and kiss Dave’s neck, slipping your hand down and making him moan. Grinning, you stroke him until he’s hard, which doesn’t take long. He pouts when you let go, and you stick your tongue out at him. He retaliates by pulling off your towel and chucking it away.

“Roll over,” you whisper, gently biting his earlobe.

You push yourself up to let him, barely managing to support Bro’s weight. You can’t help but feel like this looks a bit ridiculous, but you don’t really care.

“Here,” Bro says, reaching around and wrapping a lube-slick hand around your dick.

“You must be a mind reader,” you say, grinning.

You shift yourself so you’re propped up on one hand, then use the other to transfer some of the lube to Dave’s ass. He moans as you stick two fingers inside him, pushing himself up just enough to be able to touch himself with his other hand.

“You ready?” you ask, pulling your hand out as Bro slips a condom onto you.

Dave nods, still jerking himself off, and you slip inside him just as Bro slides a finger into your ass. You pause for a moment, letting Dave adjust, but Bro pretty much ruins that plan by sliding his finger out and slamming into you, shoving you into Dave and making you both swear loudly.

“Fuck you,” Dave says, panting.

“Shut up,” Bro says, rolling forwards more slowly this time.

Slipping your hand underneath Dave, you push his hand away and take over jerking him off, leaving him free to support himself – and, by extension, you and Bro – with both hands. You begin to build up a rhythm, all three of you moving in tandem, and it doesn’t take long for Dave to come all over the couch, swearing loudly and collapsing beneath you. You finish soon after, pulling out of him and trying to roll away, almost forgetting Bro on top of you.

“Fuck,” Bro says, pulling back and finishing himself off, then chucking his condom expertly into the trash can.

You sigh, then roll off the couch and onto the floor, lobbing your condom over too and just missing the can. You think you really can’t be bothered to go all the way over and pick it up just now.

“You’re clearing that up,” you hear Bro tell Dave before leaving the room, and Dave just nods tiredly.

Suddenly, the couch seems stupidly far away. You think you might just fall asleep here... on the floor...

 

Three hours later, you wake up. Your whole body is aching. You just about manage to pull yourself up onto the couch before you fall asleep again.  


End file.
